Midlife Friendships Don’t Come Easy

But this simple weekly habit can help

Apparently, this is the year of solo travel. I didn’t realize it until I sat down to tell you about Waffle Wednesday—hold on, I’ll explain—but first, let me tell you about my summer trip to see one of my favoritest people in Alabama.

A few months before I took off for Rome to see my daughter, I flew to visit a friend I met at a photography workshop over 15 years ago. Michelle and I hit it off immediately. We talked kids, marriage, and our small businesses practically every day… until she packed up and moved to Italy. And then, when she eventually moved back, she landed on the opposite side of the country, and we slowly drifted apart. We still talked every few months, and it always felt like home, but we weren’t what we once were. And I really, truly missed her.

Enter: Waffle Wednesday.

Despite the name, it has nothing to do with breakfast. “Waffle” is British slang for “ramble.” It’s a term a group of friends made up to describe their weekly video updates. Every Wednesday they send each other a quick video with highlights from the week. No reply required.

I heard about it from my hairstylist, who saw the viral video and started texting weekly voice memos to an old friend from high school. A few months later, she told me, “We’re closer than we’ve ever been.” And if that’s not enough evidence for the power of waffling, her friend is now in her wedding. She wasn’t even on the guest list before.

I was sold. I’m not looking for new bridesmaids, but if I can strengthen what I already have with minimal effort? I’m in.

So began Michelle’s and my Waffle Wednesday (which often becomes Traumatic Tuesday or Forgot-About-It Friday). Almost immediately, it felt like the clock rewound. We were texting more, and picking up the phone was second nature again. Like I said, there’s no response needed with these waffles, but if your girl drops something juicy or shocking, you don’t let that go. You IMMEDIATLY call with a “tell me everything!”

After a few months of voice memos, we made plans for me to fly out for a week—just her, no kids, no husband—and it was phenomenal. And honestly? Without those voice memos, it probably would’ve been another two years before we saw each other again. (I hadn’t seen her since 2016.)

Here’s the thing: it can feel like everyone already has their friend groups. And I can get a twinge of jealousy, too, because I’ve never had a bustling friend circle. I think watching Friends for so many years (decades?) warped my sense of what friendship looks like. I mean, Phoebe and Joey have yet to barge through my front door to eat my cereal or borrow my phone.

But when I’m really honest about what I need and prefer, it’s pretty clear that having a tiny constellation of people I adore is ideal.

Making new friends in midlife can feel complicated. So many adult friendships were forged in the dorms of our youth or on the sidelines of our kids’ activities. Without those built-in spaces, it can feel like our chances to form new relationships just… evaporate. And that’s a bitter pill to swallow when we’re bombarded with data saying friendships are essential to a fulfilling life (read The Good Life or watch these videos here and here).

As I’ve gotten older, I’m much more aware of the few friendships I keep close. The ones where I can be my whole self. The ones that feel comfortable and safe enough for me to be as weird as I want to be. I’ll always be open to new connections, but the real magic of midlife friendship, for me, has been strengthening the ones I already treasure.

Friendship isn’t something we “fix later.” It’s something we build in the in-between moments—the voice memo at the red light, the 4-minute update while the pasta boils, the tiny gesture that says, Hey, I’m thinking of you.

If you’ve been feeling the edges of your social world thinning out (which is normal in midlife), Waffle Wednesday is a door back in. Try it with one person—just one. Tell them you’re trying something new and you need a partner in crime.

Our empty nest years won’t feel nearly as empty when our friendships are fulfilling.

👉 Also, if you want to work with me, I have a new coaching option on my site HERE and will be doing more accountability groups in 2026 HERE.

P.S. ✨ If you were with me on Instagram last spring, you may recall that I left my indoor white Christmas lights up and renamed them “winter lights.” I didn’t want to let go of the warmth the holiday lights lend to our home. And learning how Denmark does cozy has transformed our indoors. One trick? Incandescent light bulbs (LEDs are too bright and stark) and warm flameless candles. They make the whole house feel softer.