The hardest part of this summer? Being in-between.
How I’m finding structure in the part-time parenting years
Ya’ll. I’m barely keeping my head above water. Maybe it’s the politics. Or maybe it’s just the pre-empty nest stage of life that’s really thrown me. Either way, I can’t seem to find—or keep—my groove.
It feels like I’m saturated.
With the news. With my to-do list. With the mental load of trying to keep it all together when everything keeps changing.
Sure, the start of every summer is usually a little wobbly, but this year feels different. The rhythm I worked so hard to build during the school year vanished overnight, and I’m struggling to find a new one.
This transitional phase of motherhood is at the heart of my unease, and it might just do me in— I mean, how can we simultaneously be “no longer needed” and still feel tethered?
I know you’re probably getting tired of me asking this, but why aren’t more people talking about the painfully slow parenting phaseout? Why didn’t our older mom friends scream from the rooftops that the pre-empty nest years can feel confusing and disorienting?
If you’ve got older teens or high schoolers who are more independent, you might be feeling the same thing. You’d think the lack of carpools, lunch-packing, and those 317th swim meets in blistering heat would give you your summer back. But no. Turns out, this stage is just as tricky—in a different way.
We make plans to get up early, walk the dog, have coffee with a friend, fix the collapsing back fence, or finally catch up on work (because college isn’t going to pay for itself).
Now that we’re in this part-time mom stage, we’re definitely still needed, but not in the predictable ways. And that in-between-ness makes creating any kind of routine feel impossible.
Here’s the thing. I need some kind of order and structure. Flying by the seat of my pants, reacting to everything, doesn’t cut it.
So last month, I asked my friend, Donna, to be my accountability partner. For the past few weeks, we’ve been working on our midlife goals and aspirations and trying to build a *little* structure into our days—nothing rigid, just something that helps us feel better about how we’re spending our time.
At first, I created a glorious timeline—color-coded, ambitious, satisfying. In theory, it checked all the right boxes.
In reality? It lasted less than a week. Maybe two days.
I regrouped and found a workaround.
Instead of trying to do everything each day, I started spreading my to-do list out over the weeks. My new target? Just one meaningful task a day. That’s it.
And you know what? At the end of the day, I feel good. Successful, even. Lowering the bar in the summer turned out to be the key. And if I’m able to tick off an extra box or two? I’m practically euphoric.
This short-term summertime fix is helping me balance what I want with what this weird parenting stage requires.
And to really drive the point home, listen to Bloom by Dochii. She says it with heat and clarity — absolutely worth the ear time.
“God made a day twenty-four hours…because, you, you just can't do it all in one moment…You gotta put pieces in places… you do what you can do, and you go to bed.”
Creating a flexible routine is like an enormous exhale. It’s a relief to have a hint of routine while still having space to spend time with my family.
Want to ease into a rhythm that works?
Here are a few questions to help you build a flexible weekly routine that supports you and the people you love:
✅ What does your family actually need from you? It’s probably less than you think.
✅ What do you need from you? What would make you feel better this summer?
✅ Create your routine around a few non-negotiables. Name one or two things that ground you.
✅ Spread it out. Don’t try to cram your entire summer wish list into a single day. Look at your week and your summer as a whole. Let your calendar breathe.
Here’s the bonus to learning how to create this kind of seasonal boundary-setting now: it’s great prep for the empty nest years. Because when you get better at identifying what matters, you can structure your days around it and still leave plenty of room to be an “on-call mom.”
🆕 If you’d like some hands-on help with this, I’m hosting a free 30-minute workshop next Wednesday, July 2nd, at 9:30 am PST.
Calming the Chaos. Learn how to balance fulfillment with reality—because your summer and your sanity matter too.
Can’t make it live? No problem—the workshop will be recorded and sent to everyone who registers.
I hope I see you on Zoom next week!
Jennifer
P.S. The short summer workshop is open to all. Please share with your friends 🥰