Somewhere Between Rome and Reality

Here’s Why I’m Feeling More Hopeful About Empty Nest

After nearly 24 hours without sleep — three airports, two planes — I finally made it home from Italy and am having a very slow reentry into reality.

Normally, I’d want this post to be longer and have something more substantial to offer you, but my brain’s still mush, and anything deeper wouldn’t do either of us much good.

On my last day in Rome, I had a moment, a three-second thought that startled me, in the best way.

I somehow managed to catch this bridge without crowds! I feel very fancy. I want to say it was my years as a pro photographer, but really, it was just luck.

As I was walking across this very bridge, listening to Dean Martin sing Inamorata and Siri giving me directions back to my hotel, I realized I was living someone else’s life.

Just for a beat.

Because in that moment, I realized I had no one to answer to.

No plans other than maybe getting gelato.
No dogs to walk.
No teenager to worry about or emotions to manage.

The sun was perfectly warm, and I had just scored a near-perfect vintage Benetton jacket for $42.

It was just me.

And I haven’t felt that kind of freedom since 1998 on a glorious Thanksgiving morning as I drove down Highway 1 to see my dad and half-brothers for the weekend. My windows were down, wind aggressively whipping through my hair, The Offspring blasting. I had no cares at that moment either, and I knew it. I took stock of it. I drank it in because for some reason, I was keenly aware that it wouldn’t last. I didn’t know why, but it was crystal clear that this feeling was freedom, and it would be fleeting.

Now I have a new moment.

And this one feels different.

It’s promising, because the feeling I had wasn’t a symbol of scarcity but a signal of what can be. Of what might be around the corner in my on-call mom era. And I find that so hopeful.

Maybe this will give you something to look forward to, too, because I know this time in our lives (and our country?) can feel uncomfortable, even unsettling. But if we play our cards right, that feeling of freedom we covet might not be fleeting this time.

We have time to dream and plan. Let’s not waste this incredible opportunity to figure out who we are on the other side of motherhood.

Next week, I’ll give you the lowdown on my social media breakup — I’m amazed at the revelations I’ve had!

Until then, know that I’m thinking of you and sending you a giant hug 🤗

P.S. If you were part of Silicon Valley or the dot-com bubble in the late ’90s or early 2000s, I have a book recommendation: Kara Swisher’s Burn Book. I’m halfway through it and already lamenting its end. Funny, savage, and smart — she’s a spectacular writer. Brutally honest and always punching up.

Kara has officially made my “neighborhood wish list,” along with Amy Poehler and Mindy Kaling.