Dog poop and the myth of domestic bliss

Our backyard became a case study in household equity.

I cleaned the dog poop today.

I know. Edge-of-your-seat content, right?

But here’s why it matters: it’s not my job. It’s my husband’s.

Last fall, the two of us spent a cozy Sunday morning in one of our favorite coffee shops, dividing up the home workload. And to my delight, my guy signed up to own everything dog-related — food, water, poop, and vet appointments.

For the first month or two, it was—dare I say it—domestic bliss. I felt lighter, and it was a joy to see him contributing without me asking for help or hearing, “What can I do?”

However, as with most home improvement projects, the engine soon lost its steam.

He now regularly forgets to scoop, and I either wind up reminding him (not my job) or doing it myself (also not my job). And while I know it’s not my responsibility, I can’t help myself—it’s beyond embarrassing how gross our backyard can get. Plus, I feel bad for our dogs. (Before you judge! They’re fine. They have seven beds and are worshiped like the furry queens they are.)

(I wanted to share a photo of me cleaning the poop, but no one was home, and the dogs don’t have thumbs.)

The thing about my predicament is it’s my own doing.

One of my many life-changing TikTok discoveries was the **Fair Play Method** by Eve Rodsky. It’s a nonjudgmental system designed to help distribute the mental and physical workload more equitably.

👉 Check out the book and the cards.


Here are the starter steps:

1️⃣ Make a massive list of the household’s daily/weekly jobs (dishes, meals, laundry) and larger projects (home maintenance, holiday planning).
2️⃣ Divide them up in a way that works for you.
3️⃣ Agree to full ownership of each duty.
4️⃣ Meet once a month (or so) to check in on how it’s going—and rotate the least fun jobs if possible.

See that last step? Yeah. That’s where our system broke down. Turns out it’s crucial. Without it, I found myself 75% back where I started—carrying most of the load.

But if you’ve been here a while, you know I don’t sit in despair for long. Instead, I made fixing the process one of my summer projects. Not only do I want to go further with the process, but I also want to loop my kids into the action, because let’s spread the joy, y’all!

At its core, this method is about boundaries—what’s mine, what’s yours, and how do we hold the line?

Over the past several weeks, I’ve been working on a massive spreadsheet that details every job, how to do it, who’s responsible, and when it’s due. It’s a bigger project than I anticipated, but it’ll be worth every drop of sweat and every poo scooped.

This time, I know what to change:

✅We need consistent follow-ups.
✅ I need to release some control (and the fear of being judged).

My goal is to create a comprehensive spreadsheet with jobs and instructions, so I never again hear the words, “But I don’t know how.” Bonus: it doubles as a household operating manual in case we ever need outside help (house sitter, emergency, etc.).

If you’re interested in learning more about this, let me know. I would be happy to host another free workshop and share a customizable spreadsheet with you. Let me know if you're interested in the comments or reply to this email.

Sending you a giant hug! 🤗
(I know we could all use some extra love right now).

P.S. Lest you think I married a slug, credit where credit is due: the man unloads the dishwasher every morning—even when he’s running late. And thanks to Fair Play, he now sees how much work goes into running a household.