Building Confidence (One Uncomfortable Choice at a Time)
I traveled 6,000 miles for this reminder
Well, hello from Italy! I made it — no drama, no disasters. Looks like my over-preparation is paying off because it’s been a very smooth solo international trip.
One of my biggest worries was getting out of Rome’s enormous airport and finding my Airbnb, but it went fine. I spent way too much time worrying about getting lost or getting stuck at customs with my suitcase crammed with food my kid has been craving.
With the airport out of the way, it was time to focus on the bigger challenge: keeping my routine — my food and workouts — somewhat intact. I don’t know if you’re the same way, but I really need and love my routines.
Before leaving California, I hunted down cafes with avocado toast and turkey wraps and even found a gym about a 14-minute walk from my apartment. I’ve never done that kind of advanced work, but I wish I had before, because a week in, I’m feeling pretty good. Usually by day five, I’m ready to go home and get back to my normal rhythm.
It’s not about my jeans getting a little tight. It’s about certain habits that keep me grounded. Some foods give me energy, and lifting weights clears my head. I didn’t want to lose that rhythm for two weeks, so I had to figure out how to adjust it.
Yesterday was my first planned gym day. Honestly? I almost didn’t go. I’ve been in more than twenty gyms and worked in close to a dozen, so I’m comfortable in a weight room. But the language and cultural barriers got in my head, and I worried about everything from being misunderstood to looking ridiculous.
Then I reminded myself that strangers truly don’t care. And even if they did, I’ll be gone next week—just another forgettable tourist with a day pass.
So I used a little habit-creation trick I’ve shared before: make the first step as small as possible. I promised myself I only had to show up and walk inside. I didn’t have to stay.
One step at a time—turn right, turn left, cross the street—and suddenly I was at the front desk asking the man, “Parla inglese?” He smiled, said “a little,” took my ten euros, and pointed to the locker rooms.
I did it. And immediately realized how easy it was once I’d stopped overthinking. All that chatter in my head? Completely worthless.
The gym was small, hot, and crowded, but I didn’t care. Even if I’d turned around right then, it would’ve been a win. Instead, I found the cardio area, spotted a few kettlebells (thank you, Google review photos), and got to work. It wasn’t a great workout, but doing it once means it’ll be easier next time.
When I’m in unfamiliar situations, I think of it like an indoor cat exploring the outdoors. At first, I stick close to home. The next time, I go a little farther. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Yesterday, I kept my workout simple. Tomorrow, I’ll branch out to the rowing machine or squat rack. And if that feels like too much, I’ll go back to what I know and call it good.
I’d forgotten how powerful it feels to do hard things. To choose a challenge on purpose.
Years ago, I used to talk about doing “one hard thing a day.” It was all over my Instagram stories, and I miss how good it made me feel. Pushing ourselves just a little every day adds up. It builds confidence and resilience. And when a new challenge comes up, I can remind myself that I do hard things every day. This is just another one. NBD.
Your “hard thing” probably won’t look like mine. Maybe it’s having a tough conversation, starting tennis lessons alone, or just saying no to your teenager. The point isn’t comparison, it’s practice.
Start small. When faced with two choices, pick the harder one.
-Dinner: takeout or the nearly expired chicken? Make the chicken.
-Exhausted after work: couch or a short dog walk? Walk the dog.
See where I’m going? It’s easy to default to comfort, but it doesn’t take much to stretch yourself. Tiny choices, day after day. And before you know it, you’ll start seeking out harder things—just to see if you can.
From a small, sweaty gym in Rome, I’m encouraging you to choose the hard way next time. 🥰
